In Her Perfect World
by Tytue
Summary: Molly has no whole recollection of the events that happened to her two years before aside from visions of a sullen young man with piecing green eyes in her dreams. Molly convinced that things are not what they seem searches for the truth in the visions and terrible creature in her dream. Sequel to Waiting for the Rain. Same Char. AU. Ulquiorra x O.C. Some Lang. Themes.
1. I Dream

**And now its my pleasure to bring you " In Her Perfect World." Yay. **

**Enjoy **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or Ulquiorra or any character that I did not make up**.

* * *

Learning that you got hit by a car after a wild night of partying, put in a coma for two months, then announced crazy by trauma caused to the head from the car, really puts things into perspective. Like why Mom and Dad called me everyday same time after classes to ask if I was feeling ok, or why Robert my best friend drove me everywhere I needed to go. Even the reason why the girl sitting next to me was eyeing me anxiously like I was going to jump up and end her face or something.

Granted the first two reasons were on account of my injury, they were worried about me, they had every right to be. I guess. But the third was probably because I reeked of creepy or something. Which was probably why she left a whole seat open next to me, why everyone left a space between me and them.

A cold familiar chill went down my spine, that was another thing that happened a lot lately. I was always cold, but I didn't mind it. I preferred not to wear a jacket, or long sleeves, the cold made me feel safe for some reason.

" Time is almost up," the professor announced. His marker moved across the smart board, leaving the phrase, Nothing is True Everything is Permitted. " Analyze this saying, examine it to its fullest. Next week a four page paper in ALA format is due in my email on this phases origin, importance and meaning to you." He checked his watch, " And with that time is up."

The woman beside me stood, then hurried in the opposite direction her stuff nearly falling out of her arms. I watched her go along with everyone else before I stood up.

" Molly," he Professor called.

I turned in his direction. " Come here for a second," he said.

I traveled down the steps to face Professor Wiley. He was a fairly average man, with a receding hairline and glasses that made his eyes look like large bugs under a microscope, his pants were always up to high for my liking, but he was good man from what I could tell.

" Yes," I said feeling that cold shiver again go down my spine.

He lifted up a paper from a stack on his desk then started to flip through it. " I was grading these," he said. " And yours caught my attention. Last week was the sinidqence of dreams, what they meant to you and a slight introduction to your own dreams."

I nodded remembering the assignment.

" Well on your paper, you wrote not about the death of loved ones, or some personal gain. But the fear of losing something terrible, of a losing a monster that you loved. Can you explain that to me?"  
I considered what he was asking for a moment. Which was the universal question, the one my parent's asked me, the one my Counselor asked me. The question I asked myself. Who was that terrible creature I was so afraid of loosing in my dreams?

He was usually dark, winged, horned, and covered in despair. His eyes were a intense green that stared at me with such fierceness that I shook, and cried, but I sensed no ill-will from him. He didn't want to hurt me, it was like he wanted me to take away his sadness. In most of my dreams he stood in front of me, his wings unfolded, long tail moving around me before curling around my hands to bind them.

He would then pull me forward, not close enough for me to touch it but not to far away that it could not receive me if It must. The thumbs on his bat like wings latched together creating a barrier around me that I could not escape from, not that I wanted to escape.

He was surrounded by so much sadness, so much grief, yet his expression never changed. I was always the first to move forward, to release my own hands and reach out to touch his face. To run my fingers across the curve of cheek, the angle of horn. Then down the black cyan lines that crusaded down its face. Before its green eyes widened and slowly it faded away, starting at the wings, up from its legs to its hands until nothing was left.

I woke up screaming after those dreams, crying and cold. All of this I explained in my paper, now Professor Wiley wanted a answer I did not have.

" I don't know," I said. " Only that that is the dream I have almost every night."

He nodded accepting this as an answer. I suddenly wished everyone else was this accepting, that they didn't see me as a lunatic for dreaming of a terrible monster I didn't want to let to of.

" Reading this paper, you made it sound like you were in love with this creature." Wiley said, his bug eyes turned to me. I gripped my stuff to my chest. In love…I haven't been in love with anyone…

" I don't know about that either," I said. " Honestly I wouldn't take any of that seriously, you said so yourself in one of your lectures that dreams often don't make any sense, its just the subconscious way of expressing its own imagination."

" Yes," he said slowly. " But I also said dreams are interpretations of fears or wants we are too afraid to say ourselves."

I bit my lip at that. So he was calling me crazy?

" Don't take it seriously," I repeated. My voice sounded cracked and hollow and it was terribly hard to breathe. " I have to go," I said in the next minute dismissing myself. He didn't try to stop me which I was happy for.  
Once out of the classroom I pressed myself up against the nearest wall in the first corner I saw, slid down still I was on my butt and laid my forehead between my knees.

I had to visit my Counselor in less than one hour, and already one more person in the world thought I was a complete psycho.

* * *

" Have you had anymore dreams?" India my Councilor asked me.

" No," I said. This was a lie, I did have another dream. Waking up screaming and crying was proof of that.

" And your friends, have they come back to speak to you?"

" No," I said.

She took a deep breath, folded her clipboard in her lap then leaned towards me. " Molly, being obstinate is not helping you any. Your parents hired me to help you. You do not want to be labeled at as a mental case I understand that, the faster we get this done the less time you have to see me." She smiled at me, her red lipstick reminded me of blood.

_"We'll still be friends right? You promised no matter what we would still be…"_

" Right," I said perking up. " The dreams always start with me surrounded in darkness."

* * *

Joel took me our apartment immediately after my counseling session. I was in a foul mood the moment I walked out of office so any attempts at talking were flushed the minute I jumped in his truck.

The apartment was originally Joel's, but since we both were attending the city's college, and the idea of staying home with my mother and father made me cringe. After much argument, bible throwing and talk of unwanted pregnancy they finally gave in and let me stay with Joel.

Two bedroom one bath so it was pretty spacey. Well it had to be seeing how it was Lor and John's old apartment before it was Joel's.

I took cold shower , dressed then went straight to my room. Joel was cooking, like always. Smelled like baked chicken tonight. I ignored the ache in my belly and instead focused on sleeping.

Sleeping wasn't happening as long as Joel had anything to say about it. " Should we add anorexia nervosa to your list of assumed things wrong with you?" Joel said his broad shoulders taking up most of the door frame. I gave him a look from between my arms.

" Fuck you." I said.

" That sounded like food who," Joel said laughing. The bed shifted as he sat down beside me. I felt his strong hand on my back.

" Trauma caused by injury to the head," I said. " That's what my file said."

Joel's eyebrows curled. " How did you…?"

" She walked out to get me a soda, I snuck a look." I hesitated. " Their trying to put me on meds Joel. Real meds like the stuff crazy people take."

" You don't know that for sure," Joel replied but he refused to look me in the eye. Sighing I turned over on my back so my eyes faced the ceiling.

" Just tell me the truth, I'm crazy."

" That would be lying," Joel said. I turned to him hope in my eyes. " Your insane."

Picking up the pillow I hit him with it. Laughter, our laughter filled the room. I stopped laughing before he did. " I know what I saw," I said. " What I see."

" Molly…"

" Those dreams I have, its like someone, something is reaching out for me. They want me to remember something, to save them from something…" I found myself lost in my own world, in the world or darkness where the figure stood. My hands shook followed by my shoulders then my whole body. Not from fear, but the feelings that surrounded me in my dreams. " So sad…" I whispered.

Joel was hugging me then, pressing my face into his shoulder. He did this sometimes, usually after he woke me up screaming. His hands went to he back of my head. Tear ran down my cheeks.

" You think I'm crazy don't you?" I asked still staining his shirt.

He didn't answer, just hugged me harder.

* * *

Darkness. I could taste it as it surrounded me, yet instead of be afraid like all other times I embraced it. He arose moments later, as terrible as I remember him. Wings unfolded, seeping darkness, and loneliness and despair. Fur lined the place where elbow met arm, groin to feet, which were clawed. His skin was white, cyan lines stained the skin under his eyes like makeup run, a hole sat in the middle of his chest as if his heart had been ripped from his very chest.

He did not move, he never did. Instead I stepped forward, his tail curled around my hands, his wings curled around me, locking at the thumbs. I looked up at him, into the emotionless green eyes, his top lip which was black, in a desperate attempt to fasten this all to my mind.

Yet the dreams always ended the same, him fading away. I tried to move my hands, he held them still.

"Who are you?" I said. " Why do I see you every night, what are you trying to tell me?"

No answer, his eyes never left mine. The fading had started. I struggled against him. Screaming now. " Please at least tell me your name."

His mouth opened. " There is nothing but despair," he said. His voice as just emotionless as he eyes, it filled me with longing and dread.

His feet disappeared.

" Please?" I was crying now.

" Everything is despair."

" Please. Just your name. Give me something to work with."

But I knew, why was I asking. I knew who he was. He was as familiar to me as Joel or my Mom or Dad, as familiar as my brother.

" Ulqu…Ulqui…Ulquiorra!" I said.

His green eyes widened, the grip his tail had around my hand tightened. His clawed hands rose and gripped my shoulders. For a moment I really was frightened he would kill me. Then his hands faded into dust, following his tail. I reached out with desperate hands touching his fading face, trying to claw away the anguish.

" It is not enough," he said before he burst into a cloud of dust.

I screamed.

" Molly! Molly!"

I opened both eyes. Joel sat in front of me, eyes wide fingers locked around both my shoulders. I felt new tears on my cheeks.

" God, he's killing you," Joel said moving in to hug me. I pushed against his chest.

" Ulquiorra," I whispered.

" What?"

" His name," I said. " His name is Ulquiorra, he's alive. I knew I wasn't crazy." I cast my gaze around the darkened room, for once I wasn't afraid of what lay within it. " He's alive and he needs my help."

* * *

**Ulquiorra**

They'd sent him back where he came from, back to the starving wasteland he once called home. No fitter punishment could there be than to have him wonder without purpose, without cause.

He'd sault at first to follow the girl, provide her protection. Those plans he should have known were unrealistic.

Now here he stood, as alone as he once was, although he stood surrounded by those who claimed to serve him.

He was now King of Hueco Mundo. By obligation, not by choice.

As the leader of the Shimigami had so bluntly put it, each realm needed someone to rule, in order to create balance. That was the purpose of all beings of course, balance. Hollows although unnatural balanced the population of both living and non-living souls, Shimigami balanced the number of hollows, and humans existed to both feed the hollows, die adding to the soul society and give something for Shimigami's to protect.

" We will keep the passage between the human and Hueco Mundo free for you to travel without interference, only as long as you do as you say you will," The Shimigami leader explained. " Where I do not fully understand your relationship with this girl, I will grant you this passage only on account of seeing her."

Orders from a Shimigami, it sickened him. Yet what other choice did he have. Any contact with her in any form was not allowed. That too was ground for having his passage cut off. Her memory had been erased, what little reistu she had left after their separation was suppressed. She knew nothing but that of a normal human girl's life now.

Only now she was rejecting even that. She struggled against the bonds that held her memories and powers down. She claimed what was true, only to be denied and labeled insane by an injury that was never true in the beginning. She cried, screamed, pleaded for someone to help her remember. When her mouth did not say it, her feelings, thoughts did.

Although Ulquiorra was sure the bond was broken, there were times as he watched her that his instincts told him it was not. She called for him in her sleep, through not knowing his name she begged him for the truth. Truth he could not give. He'd lost her once, he dared not do it again.

Loneliness for him for a habitual feeling. He'd made his bed with it before, he would again, and again. Despair was quite the same, darkness was his mother, his lover, his companion. Something the human girl could never be. She however was not used to these feelings, she'd spent her entire life surrounded by people who loved her, he assured himself within a matter of time she would be fine.

Yet for want of purpose he watched her. His left eye sat on her person whenever he could not. Made useful because of his natural regeneration properties. Losing limbs, through fatal for others were not so much for him. An eye he would regenerate in a matter of minutes.

For now she slept, weeping nonetheless, but sleeping. She'd refused food for the third time in a week, it was showing on her body.

You will kill yourself girl…Ulquiorra thought.

A knock on his quarters door interrupted his thoughts. " Enter," he said aloofly. A moment later a arrancar girl stepped in, bowed then stepped aside to reveal two other arrancar girls wearing close to nothing.

" Master Grimmjow has requested you take them tonight," he girl paused, " he said you are in need of loosening up."

Ulquiorra turned away from the display. This was the tenth time Grimmjow had attempted this, tenth time too many.

" I do not want them," he said. He'd not taken two looks at them.

" Are you sure?" It was Grimmjow's voice this time. " I had them especially made up for you."

Ulquiorra turned then. The girls that stood in front of him looked similar to…her…Same body type, messy hair, eye color, mouth. Almost identical twins. Almost.

" You disgust me," Ulquiorra said turning again to face the window. Its outside reflected nothingness, just like his soul.

" Damn, after I worked so hard training them," Grimmjow said mocking disappointment. He clapped his hands. " Back to my quarters then, leave Ulquiorra with his hand."

Then he was gone laughing his mocking laugh down the hall.

The thought of killing Grimmjow arose in Ulquiorra's mind before the sight of Molly caught his attention again.

She sat up screaming which was nothing new, Joel held her that to was not new.

Ulquiorra," she whispered.

His eyes widened at that.

" His name," She said. " His name is Ulquiorra, he's alive. I knew I wasn't crazy. He's alive and he needs my help."

She remembered his name. That could only mean one thing.

The powers suppressing her memories and powers were slowly breaking down under her will.

Joel's hand gripped Ulquiorra's single eyeball he'd left lingering in the girl's presence, muscles tensing with anger he shattered it leaving Ulquiorra blind to what was happening.

" It matters not," Ulquiorra said opening a portal. He stepped through, appearing moments later in the parking lot of Molly's apartment complex. Waiting for him, sword ready was Joel.

* * *

**I know...but its only the first chapter. Tell me what you think! **

**REVIEW! **


	2. Molly What Have You Done?

**Another Chappy. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and favs, and story and author alerts. Really you guys are what keep this engine running. Chung Chung. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach. Kubo does. **

**REVIEW!**

* * *

**Ulquiorra **

" I thought we had an agreement!" Joel exclaimed pointing his sword Ulquiorra's direction. Ulquiorra sensed hostility in the boy for what reason he did not yet know. He'd done nothing to the girl, it was of her own will that she was breaking her bonds.

" I have not come to fight you boy," Ulquiorra said coldly.

" Then why are you here?" Joel said.

" You've broken my eye," Ulquiorra said. " I have come to investigate the girl's claims."

" She knows your name, she shouldn't," Joel said. " She shouldn't remember anything, but she claims she sees you in her dreams, her folks are trying to put her away. Do you understand that, they think she's crazy."

Quite naturally, humans could not began to comprehend the powers that stood before them everyday, what Molly thought was natural they saw as unnatural. Ulquiorra made no reply to that claim, instead he made his way past the boy seeing him more as an annoyance than a threat.

Joel stepped in front of him once more blocking his way. Ulquiorra turned his gaze to the boy threatening him with a look.

" Move," he said.

" If you go up there, if you touch her I have no idea what might happen."

Ulquiorra continued past the boy, blending though the walls to appear in the girl's room, where she lay curled into a ball, gripping the sheets, sweat poured down her face. She whimpered and trembled.

Just as weak as when I left you girl, he thought pressing two fingers against her forehead. A moment later her whimpering ceased, followed by her trembling.

This hollow, dissipating sack of flesh was Molly. He let his eyes room over her body, the body he once considered taking. Now skinny and lacking nutrients. Circles rounded her sunk in eyes, scratching were racked up and down her arms. She was a mess. And he was the cause of it.

More despair entered his already full bowl and he turned away no longer wishing to watch her death in person. Stopping only a moment to pull his left eye again from its socket and lay it against the girl's desk.

" What did you do?" Joel demanded.

" Silencing," Ulquiorra said leaving it at that. " She will die," he said. " Can you live with that fact boy?"

Joel made no reply for that and Ulquiorra did not wait. Opening a portal he walked through arriving back in Hueco Mundo finding it a better place to express his despair.

* * *

**Molly**

" Yes I'm fine. Yes I've been eating. Yes I went."

Mom and Dad were doing it again, asking me question after question, worried about me. While Joel stood in the background arms folded across his chest looking just as worried. He really had a way of pissing me off. I hung up the phone and threw it at his chest. He caught it midair like he always did.

Jumping into his truck I made a point of turning the music up loud enough to shatter ear drums and turned towards the window.

He turned it down of course.

" Their just worried about you," he said. " And quite frankly so am I. You lied to them, you haven't been eating."

" So," I said.

" So," Joel said. " That will kill you."

" I had a Mcflurry yesterday," I said.

" That's not food Molly."

I didn't want to talk about that anymore, I quickly changed the subject. " Last night…that dream I had…the monster…"

Joel slammed on brakes at the stop light throwing my small frame forward, I shot him a look that could have melted ice. His grip tightened around the steering wheel. " Not that again."

" Yes that again," I said. " Cause its real, I know it is. He's real. Why do you get so angry anyway when I mention it. Huh? Shouldn't you be helping me find out who it is?"

" No," Joel snapped slamming on the gas so we accelerated forward, this time my small frame slammed the seat. " No I shouldn't, that's just encouraging you to go against your parents, to kill yourself."

I considered for a moment that he was right, that maybe I was crazy. But I was also stubborn, and wouldn't be sidetracked that easily. So Joel could huff and puff and slam on brakes all he wanted too, I wasn't giving up.

" But…"

He pulled over on the side of the road. Took a deep breath then looked at me. For a minute I was conscious of my unkempt hair my withering form and the fact that I looked almost like death itself, before I remembered that this was Joel I was talking too.

" What if I told you that this guy was real, that the reason your parents are like this, why you are like this is because of him. That if you are better off without him, what would you say?"

" I would say that I want to know, because I hate being kept in the dark."

Joel sighed. " What if I told you I love you too much to tell."

" I would say I'm tired of all these what ifs." I said back. " You can take me to school now."

" Its for your good," Joel said pulling back onto the road.

" So he is real?" I said.

" I didn't say that," Joel said.

" Yeah you did, that last statement just confirmed it. Ulquiorra is real, and your hiding something from me, so are Mom and Dad." I pointed a accusing finger at him, making sure he understood that I was serious.

" Molly," he said.

" No Molly nothing…" I said. " Your lying to me."

" So you want the truth even through you know it may make you terrible?"

" Yes," I said without hesitation. Joel sighed. The truck stopped, it took me half a second to realize that we were at the college campus. Joel jumped out slamming the door after him, then appeared at my door. Opening it he pulled me out with one hand, made easier because I wasn't wearing a seat belt in the first place.

" Go to class," he barked handing me my things.

" No. Not until you tell me what's going on." I said throwing my things back into his car, then slamming the door. I glared up at Joel's huge form, making sure he saw that I was serious that I wouldn't take no for an answer. He glared back down at me, as equally angry and annoyed.

Under normal circumstances I would be frightened of Joel and the way he was looking at me. But these weren't normal circumstances, and I wasn't about to back down from him.

" If you really loved me you wouldn't lie to me," I said challenging his last statement.  
" You would tell me the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

His fist shot out, but I knew he wasn't going to hit me, he would never hit me. The sound of metal bending rang in my left ear. He'd put a fist sized dent in the door of his truck.  
" Molly don't push me. You have no idea what I've done because I love you."

What had he done? I opened my mouth to ask him when his right hand came out and cradled my chin. " I won't lose you again," he whispered running his thumb over my top and bottom lip.

It went like his regularly with Joel and I, bouts of anger then confession, usually on his part. Honestly I did love Joel, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. I felt as if their was someone else, and to confess my love for Joel fully would be betraying them. Whether that other person was this Ulquiorra guy I wanted to find out. Until I did, Joel would not get an answer.

I pushed against his chest, the flesh felt weird under my palm. Hot and slightly malleable. " Did you truly ever have me?" I asked peering up at him. He pulled his hands away from me then, fist now balled he turned away.

I hurt him again, I always hurt him. I reached out to touch his shoulder to try and explain myself but before I could even touch him he pulled away.

" Do what the fuck you want," he barked walking away. I watched him go before I crawled back in the car and curled myself into a ball against his seat. I fell asleep in his truck, and missed my class for the day. Joel returned to take me to my session with India but he didn't speak or look my way.

Instead of telling my Councilor about just Ulquiorra, I talked about my confusion over my feelings for Joel and how I felt with my whole soul there was someone else I was in love with. Even if he was imaginary.

* * *

Joel dropped me off at the apartment and went to work, still giving me the silent treatment. I didn't protest, if he wanted to be stubborn he could. As payback, for dinner I helped myself to his last Monster, Twinkie and bag of Doritos. Not nearly a deceit enough dinner but it would have to do. I doubted I could stomach nothing else.

I spent two hours on the computer trying to search for anyone by the name Ulquiorra on people search websites, coming up with nothing local and instead getting a couple Japanese websites and a few half naked girls. Frustrated and feeling the Monster wear off I curled in my bed and struggled to fall asleep.

Sleep didn't come easy, and I had medicines to help. But I never used them, more content to force myself. After about another hour of turning and staring at the ceiling I finally fell asleep, happy to get to the end of the day.

The dreams hit me the moment I closed my eyes. He was back, we were both standing in the same place, surrounded by nothingness. He stood terrible yet beautiful.

The sequence like nights before threatened to happen the same. Yet when he moved to bind my hands with his tail I moved them away. When he positioned his wings to entrap me I stepped back.

His facial expression never wavered, neither did mine.

" Ulquiorra," I called. " What do you want from me?"

" What I want?"

" I know your real, I can sense it, feel it but I can't find you." I said holding my hands to my heart.

Ulquiorra lifted his hand as well taking his eyes from me to examine it. " The heart…" he said. " Where should I find it?" He reached out to me with the same hand. Compelled I reached out as well ready to feel his skin against mine for once.

Instead of flesh, like before my fingers grazed the feather light tendrils of dust. He was fading again, but this time I didn't scream, instead I watched him fade away, knowing that tomorrow I would have this dream again, and I would be one step closer to knowing just what he wanted and how to free him.

* * *

**Ulquiorra**

Ulquiorra awoke with a start. He'd dreamt again, he rarely dreamed. He rarely slept. What had compelled him to lay down and sleep he could not say. He was an Arrancar, and he did not need sleep.

Perhaps it is something brought on by the girl, he thought standing. He'd dreamt of her after all. Her standing before him, her mouth moving words escaping but he could not remember what was said, nor what his own reply was. Only that he stood before her in his final form, and she was neither frightened or disgusted.

He didn't know whether to be angry that she'd invaded his mind or disgusted that he'd dreamt of her in the first place. So as always he remained impassive.

He turned his gaze on the real Molly the one who lay sleeping in her bed surrounded by wrappers from food. There was no screaming on this night, instead she lay perfectly still as if content with her sleep.

The door to his quarters opened, he knew who it was before they even stepped in.

" What do you want Grimmjow?" Ulquiorra said.

" I'm in the mood to fuck some shit up. Matter of fact I'm in the mood to fuck some people up too."

" Do as you will Grimmjow," Ulquiorra said. " I am under obligation to advise against it, but I am not under obligation to stop you."

" As if you could," Grimmjow said throwing himself against Ulquiorra's couch. Then kicking up his feet he leaned back. " You sit in his shit hole all day doing what ever the fuck it is you do. It's fucking depressing. "

_Depressing…_

" What is it you propose I do then Grimmjow?" Ulquiorra inquired suddenly interested for once in the arrogant former espada. He would give him his ear his one time.

" Don't know, something besides sit in this shit hole all day." He stood and stretched his long limbs, appearing more feline than hollow. " I'm going to find something to kill," he said heading for the door stopping only when he was halfway out of its frame. " Something like stop being a pussy and go down there and claim what's fucking yours, before I claim it for myself."

Then he was gone just like that. Ulquiorra couldn't help the small sense of satisfaction he got from hearing Grimmjow's words. If it was one thing he was always envious and a annoyed of when it came to the blue haired Arrancar, he had no problem expressing his immediate thoughts, no matter who he was around.

* * *

**Molly**

" Good morning Joel," I said stiffly walking into the kitchen where he was cooking bacon. He waved but said nothing more.

A bit agitated I wrapped my arms around his middle and put my head on his back since he was too tall for me to place it on his shoulder. A gesture that went as far back as when we were kids, he was always mad at me, even when I'd already gotten over it.

He pulled my arms away. " No Molly," he scolded.

" I'm sorry," I said. " For hurting your feelings…really I am." I said. He still wouldn't face me instead he reached over me to grab a plate from the cabinet. I took the movement to grab his shirt. He looked down then, more annoyed than forgiving.

" Please." I said.

" Molly…" he said. " I can't not that easily. You have to learn that even I can be hurt." Then he shoved a plate of bacon at me and headed to the truck.

We didn't talk in the car, and I was slightly happy for that. I didn't want to hear the hurt in Joel's voice. He went in one direction I went in the other. Class hadn't started yet, giving me time to find a seat in the middle and get my stuff ready.

" Seat taken? Of course not."

I didn't look up as I replied, " No, not unless you mind the slight scent of bac-" I glanced up. " Con…"

A guy about the same height and build as Joel stood beside my seat, his hair was turquoise blue, so were his eyes. He wore a black shirt, the sleeves pulled up to his elbows, the buttons loose so a white undershirt shone underneath. His pants were black and loose.

I knew him. I knew him but I could not remember his name or where I've seen him. I pressed my fingers to my heart. I was slightly afraid, but not as afraid as my body was telling me I should be.

" Who are you?" I managed to cough out.

He grinned. That grind should be enough Molly…

" You," he said still grinning. " You can just call me Grimm."

That answer seemed close enough to the truth. I moved over so he could sit, shaking the entire time. Professor Wikey started his lecture, I absorbed none of it, to busy looking at the man named Grimm grinning at me.

" Who are you," I whispered.

" You want answers," he said making no attempt to whisper.

I nodded. " You have them?"

" If I said yes," he said.

" I want to know," I said back.

" What are you going to give me?" He asked. I glared at him, I didn't like his arrogant tone. Or the way he was looking at me. I wanted to punch him somewhere it hurt, but something in me told me that probably wouldn't be a good idea.

" What do you want?"

" Depends…" he said.

" On what?" I asked. His grin widened, until I really truly was afraid. Standing he lifted me to my feet, pushed his hands under me and threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Professor Wikey paused, the class turned.

I hit his back with my fist as he started to walk out. " Put me down."

My cry went to deaf ears as she walked me out the classroom to the outside campus where people continued to stare to a unfamiliar corner. He put me down my back hit a wall, his hand shot out hitting the wall next to my head. I flinched.

" You want answers so do I," he growled, the amusement from earlier was gone replaced with raw anger. " What did you do to me?"

I was not going to show this manic the pleasure of seeing me afraid. Without hesitation I threw my fist out punching him as hard as I could in the face. To my surprise he backed up and held his mouth. Not wasting another minute I ducked under his arms and made a run for it.

I didn't get very far. He grabbed me up like I was doll and slammed me back against the wall. Blood ran down the side of his mouth as he enclosed me again, and he looked ten times anger than he did before. He repeated his last question, even angrier.

" I have no idea what you are talking about," I said.

" Don't give me that fucking excuse," he snapped his angry leaking something terrible. I considered the chances of escaping against he chances of him strangling me and leaving my body for someone to find. That would probably make things easier for everybody. " I see you when I lay down, see you when I wake up. Your damn face is all over the fucking place. Even now, I want to kill you."

He grabbed both my arms between his large hands and squeezed until they went numb.  
" But I can't, I just fucking can't." His eyes were wide as he spoke. I felt tears stinging my eyes, I sucked in a breath.

" May…Maybe if you help me…I'll help you figure out what I might have done to you."

He seemed to just notice the blood curling down his mouth because he wiped it away and stepped back away from me. " Fucking forget it," he said. " Your as clueless as Ulquiorra said. Damn it."

" Ulquiorra! You know him? Where is he? Who is he?"

" Yeah I know him," he mumbled still wiping away blood. " Damn weak human body."

I let my eyes roam over his mouth which was staining his shirt red. He knew who Ulquiorra was. I suddenly forgot how afraid I was, or the subtle ache in my arms from where he gripped me. I grabbed his hand. Surprised he started to pull back but I wouldn't let go.

" Come on. To the bathroom." I said. He let me lead him back across the campus, his free hand in his pocket, while I held the other. Pulling him into the family bathroom I wet a couple napkins and pressed it against his bleeding lip. He flinched slightly but I could tell it wasn't from the pain.

Staring down at me angrily he growled, " I didn't ask for your fucking pity."

" Your not denying it either," I snapped back wetting another napkin and pressing it against his mouth again. He grabbed my wrist this time holding it tightly as he pulled me forward.

" I'll punch you again," I said. " And this time I won't clean it up. Let. Me. Go." I pulled my wrist back.

" You really have no fucking idea?" He said stepping closer to me. I put my hand on the door ready to run.

" I don't," I said. " I was hoping someone would tell me."

He leaned in again, I readied my fist to punch him. His mouth next my ear now he whispered, " Your whole life is a lie."

" What…?"

I felt my world spinning then. Grimm swam in my vision, his blue hair and angry eyes. Then darkness. Happy for it, I gladly let it take me. When I opened my eyes again I was looking at a member of the ER.

* * *

**OH NO GRIMMY! Oh the horror...**

**Hope you enjoyed. **

**REVIEW!**


	3. She Who Would Save

**Another Chappy. Sorry this one is kinda short but I've been really busy lately so here it is. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach **

**READ. ENJOY. REVIEW :)**

* * *

" She's awake," the nurse said touching my forehead. I tried to sit up but a sharp pain my arm made me flinch. I glanced down, a needle was lodged in my arm, a IV attached too it. I glanced around the familiar white room. Panic set in, and I afraid that I was trapped again.

I opened my mouth to scream, when Joel's hand on my arm stopped me. " Molly." He said softly, your in the hospital."

" For what?" I barked.

Mom and Dad appeared in my vision then, Mom was crying which was nothing new, Dad's face was stoic. " The doctors said you collapsed from malnutrition, you told me you were eating."

" I have," I said trying to sit up again, this time carefully enough not to upset the IV. No one believed me of course. " Joel tell them I've been eating."

I set my gaze on him, urging him to at least tell half the truth. I may not have been eating real food, like the kind he cooks every night, but I have been eating. Pop tarts, Twinkles, dried Applejacks and Lays did count as food, even if it wasn't healthy food. I couldn't stomach anything else.

He nodded. " But not real food, mostly junk."

I sighed in relief, so he was halfway on my side.

The ER nurse left the room returning with a Doctor holding a clipboard. He was middle aged with a relaxed face and army haircut. He was tall, built and smelled slightly like coffee, cigs and cinnamon.

When he saw me staring he smiled. " Molly is it?"

I nodded. " Says here that you are suffering from malnutrition. Have you been eating." He hesitated. " Wait let me rephrase that. Have you been eating well." I opened my mouth answer but he beat me to the punch. "And Pop Tarts, Twinkies, Applejacks and Lays don't count."

I snapped my jaw shut with a loud click. He popped his pen against his clipboard exposing the ink tip to the air. " Tell me why haven't you been eating, it is important that a girl like you gets all seven basic food groups."

" I…don't know. I just don't feel a need too…" I stopped myself short. I didn't like being here again, being questioned by words, or by eyes. Everyone thought I was crazy, that was trying to kill myself. I didn't want to explain myself again.

" Are you her boyfriend?" He asked Joel. He didn't give him time to answer. " Tell me. Do you find malnutrition girls attractive?"

Joel didn't answer. I shrunk more into myself. I could hear him writing on his clipboard. My fingers twirled around my IV cord until I could feel my arm stinging but I didn't care. I wanted it to hurt.

" I'm going to have the hospital councilor come and talk with you. She's new so go easy on her. After that I'm going to give you some vitamins. They will supply you with vitamins, A, B, C, and D. He took my hand examining the nails, how they were chipped and flayed like wallpaper gone bad. " Maybe some Biotin too. You don't want to eat right, that's fine but at least take the vitamins, I would hate to see you back in here again."

" No for the last time I wasn't trying to kill myself." I said.

The councilor put down her pin, she was nothing like India. Who was stern and blunt. This lady was cheerful and polite, and smiled a lot more than she should. Her hair was long, blond and wavy, her eyes blue, right below the right side of her lips was a small mole. I let my eyes roamed down her body, she had India beat in that department. Where India was lithe and tone, this lady was curvy with bigger breast. She had everything where it counted.

She bit the end of her pen with full lips. " Are you sure?" She asked again.

I rolled my eyes. " What did you say your name was again?" I asked.

" Ashley," she said cheerfully.

" Right. Can I go home now."

" Well of course not, you have to stay here until you are all better," she said cheerfully. She reached over and grabbed both sides of my face with her hands, her breast pursed up against mine. The feeling felt so familiar that the impulse to scream sexual harassment never left my mouth.

All around her, whole existence felt familiar, like she was some friend gone away for years and years that changed over the coarse of time and I didn't recognize her anymore with my eyes, but my heart did.

I couldn't help smiling.

"See your getting better already," she replied. " You are far to pretty to be wasting away like this. I'm the one who shouldn't be eating, I'm totally fat."

I couldn't help smiling at that too. The door opened and the doctor came in holding the vitamins and a clipboard. Mom, Dad and Joel behind him. He looked Ashley up and down, grinned then handed me the vitamins.

" I am guessing everything is going well?" He asked.

" She is ok," Ashley said. " I think she's ready to go home now. That blue does not suit her at all."

" Yes," I sighed.

Except Mom and Dad's definition of home was back at the house with them. Not with Joel. I argued in the parking lot, lodged between their car and Joel's truck. I didn't want to go home with them where they would monitor me like some mental patient and treat me like a two year old with the flu.

I hadn't told them about Grimmjow or what he'd told me, and I wasn't going too. They wouldn't believe anyway.

" I'm 21," I reminded. " An adult. I can drink, have sex, party, carry a firearm and take care of myself without your permission."

" We are just so worried about you," Mom said. " Ever since that accident you haven't been the same."

Yes the accident no one wants to talk about. I felt bile in my throat, but I swallowed it down. Throwing up in front of them all wouldn't prove a point, it would just put me deeper in the hole and probably back in the hospital for another day.

" I'll eat, and go to class. I'll take care of myself just please let me go back with Joel without a fight." I said pleading over to him with my eyes. Hoping he would help me.  
" He'll make sure I eat and drink and take my vitamins. Just please…"

" Molly," Dad said stepping forward. " So far you haven't proved to us you would do any of these things. It seems like every time we let you go, you do something else to provoke action."

I bit my lip, I had no response for that. I did have the tendency to stir up trouble without meaning too. Mostly for myself. But apparently hurting myself was hurting other people, so I had to stop doing that too.

" You can move her Grandmother in with us," Joel said. Everyone turned to look at him. " You guys are practically never home and she needs somewhere to stay. She can have my room, I'll sleep on the couch."

Dad thought about this, while I casually gave Joel my " what the hell are you thinking," face.

" I would suppose. If she agrees. My mother is the most stubborn person I've ever have the pleasure of knowing." Dad said.

" And Molly is the most stubborn person I know. Perhaps the two unmovable objects will come to favorable terms."

* * *

**Ulquiorra**

He wanted to kill Grimmjow. Tear a hole through his flesh and leave him on the ground to bleed to death. But it was not always about what he wanted.

Grimmjow had went to the human world, which wasn't Ulquiorra's concern. Forged a human body, which also wasn't his concern, then confronted Molly. That was where he'd crossed the boundary. Yet Ulquiorra made no move to stop him at the time, just watched though the eyeball on her shoulder her reaction to all of this.

She didn't remember Grimmjow. Like any other time she didn't show the appropriate fear she should have to situations where she was in imminent danger. She'd punched Grimmjow in the face to prove it. But then showed the depth of her kindness and forgiveness by helping him clean his wound.

She'd even went as far as to make a plan with him, saying she'd help him figure out what she'd done to him if he helped her find out who Ulquiorra really was.

What she's done…surely the girl did not understand Grimmjow's way of doing things. He unlike Ulquiorra who was rational and calculating, was animalistic, instinctive. If he wanted something for any reason he went after it, whether it was to kill, keep, mate or feed him. Nothing stopped Grimmjow once he was on the hunt, and Ulquiorra found himself wondering what he wanted Molly for.

It wasn't for love. The idea was ridiculous, Grimmjow understood the notion even less than Ulquiorra did. So it must have been something else.

Grimmjow didn't return so Ulquiorra could question him, and Ulquiorra didn't wonder after his ware bouts to long. He wasn't with Molly.

She was sitting at her kitchen table talking to the old lady from years before. The one she called Grandmother. Discussing the plans for Molly. She hadn't told them about Grimmjow, and Ulquiorra guessed she never would. She would let them go on believing she was starving herself for whatever reason. Really he did not understand the girl. Why not let go of the past and move on with her short pathetic life? To waddle in such pain is what would cause her to become a hollow were she to succeed in one day killing herself.

He watched her sleep like every other night, watched her cry and whine, whisper his name before she shot up and looked around the darkness. " Ulquiorra." She whispered. Her hands searched the covers in the darkness then ran over his arms up to her own shoulders.

Her fingers brushed the hardness of his eyeball before stopping. Her eyes widened and she took the eyeball in her hand.

She should not have been able to see it, nor feel it. The eyeball should have been invisible to both of those senses, yet here she was. She lifted it in the darkness rolling it around between her fingertips, slitting both eyes to get a better look before jumping up and turning on her light.

Ulquiorra watched in calculating fascination.

" A ball…" she whispered still rolling it in her palm. " No not a ball, a eye…" Shocked at her own revelation she let it go, it hit the ground rolling, obscuring Ulquiorra's vision until all he saw was the ceiling.

This should not been happening, yet here it was. Wasting no time Ulquiorra opened a portal and stepped through, appearing in the girl's room. She didn't look up, too distracted by the eyeball on the ground.

" Maybe I am crazy," she mumbled to herself bending to pick up the eyeball. " Or maybe I'm not."

He watched her examine it for a few more moments before she perched it back on her shoulder.

He stepped toward her, ready to erase that memory again, then suck out whatever spiritual pressure that had allowed her to see his eye. She didn't see him there, but she froze all the same, looking in every direction, her fingers shivering, knees buckling.

" Ulquiorra…" she whispered again.

He reached out. It would be better for her if he erased her memory again, she would suffer less. His fingertips brushed her forehead lightly, her eyes closed. His calculating mind was at work again. Weighing his odds, determining the best course of action based on formal results and proven conclusions.

Full lips slightly opened, she whispered his name again. His eyes widened. He hated it when she called his name, it made thinking harder, coming to a reasonable conclusion almost impossible. Hearing her say his name made him feel human, for humans relied to much on the power of names and the strength it gave them, and he was far from human.

" I can help save you…" she said.

There would be no saving him now. He was doomed. All hollows were doomed from the moment they were born.

" There is no saving me girl," he said, knowing full well she could not hear him. Yet he longed to argue with her, like before. To tell her she was wrong to feel those useless emotions, to worry about someone who was already damned.

Did she not realize that even now he was eating her despair, thriving on her loneliness, drinking her regret. For these were the things that made him, from the moment he allowed himself to fall into that void of nothingness he knew there would be no saving for him. What right did she have to offer saving when she couldn't even save herself.

He would do her his favor and erase her memory again.

He would.

He would.

But the power never left him, instead he let his fingertips move down her forehead, over the soft sockets of her eyes, to the curve of nose, then down past her sunken cheeks to the fullness of lips. He could suck her very soul from that mouth, past those lips to feed himself. Then he would be able to contain her for as long as he lived, then she wouldn't have to suffer.

And he wouldn't have to watch.

His fingertips moved down to where her heart supposedly was. From where he stood he could hear it beating heavy and strong, a polar opposite to her weak, frail body. That organ refused to give up no matter what she insisted on putting it though.

He was a hollow after all, and what other purpose did he have besides living off the negative feelings of the living?

He let his fingertips retrace their path back to her forehead.

" Ulqui-"

Silence.

He expelled his power then, and she crumbled. He grabbed both her arms and lifted her up, caring nothing at the moment for gentleness. He expelled her onto the bed and turned to his still opened portal.

He would chart what her next move would be when she awoke, see if she was as powerful as she claimed to be, powerful enough to save him. Through he knew it was an impossible task, he still wanted to see it. For what he couldn't see, did not exist, and claims meant nothing to him.

He gave the "Girl that would save him" one last stoic look before the portal closed and he was transferred back to his solitary quarters in Hueco Mundo.

* * *

**Please tell me what you think. **

**Peace until later. **


	4. Those She Can Trust

**New Chappy. Sorry it took so long, Fall semester of college is about to start, I've been super busy. **

**Enjoy. **

**REVIEW PLZ**

* * *

I awoke at five in the morning feeling a bit cold and weary. My shoulders ached like I'd been holding weight in my sleep and try as I might I couldn't close my eyes and fall back asleep.

Standing I slipped on my slippers and eased out of my room careful not to wake my Grandmother in Joel's room. Joel was working night shift again and was usually home by five thirty. I wanted to talk to him, to tell him what really happened and assure him that I was ok.

His futon wasnt pulled out so I took it upon myself to pull it out and make it up for him. Then pulling the covers up to my chin I stared up at the ceiling and waited. In the darkness my fingers moved against their own will to my shoulder where the eye was, still and watching. Could Joel see it too? Or was it just me? I'd have to put the question to him when he came home.

I cradled the eye in-between both my hands and closed my eyes. I didn't sleep, instead I put myself into a state of hibernation, neither awake nor sleep. The door opened about thirty minutes later. I could hear the shuffling of feet.

" Quiet," Joel whispered his voice like a husk.

" I know, don't want to wake the grandma, I understand completely," came a female voice. " God how long has it been?"

" Quiet!" Joel whispered fiercely. I opened both eyes and peered around in the darkness at the same time weight settled on top of me and someone yelped.

" What the fuck!"

I sat up, coming face to face with a red headed woman. The light switched on and I could finally see clearly. The woman looked me over before standing to her feet. Half her shirt was undone and her skirt was hiked up her leg.

" Molly what are you doing?" Joel asked. His shirt was off, his pants unbuttoned I could see the flesh underneath, I forced myself to look away.

I stood. " Nothing. Nothing. Just continue what you were doing."

The woman looked confused. " I thought you said the only person who lived here was your Grandmother and your roomat-. Wait you didn't tell me your roommate was a girl?"

" She's a girl," Joel said. I could feel him coming towards me. I sped up reaching my door at the same time he grabbed my arm.

" Molly, lets talk about this," he said.

I shook my head. " No I'm fine, your obviously busy right now." I said.

" He kinda is," the woman said. I turned to her my mouth opened ready to say something, she glanced back at me eyebrows raised. She flashed me a perfect tooth smile. " I'm in if you are honey."

I snorted in disgust and turned back to my door.

" It was nothing important," I said, " It can wait until tomorrow."

I couldn't look at him, at his messy hair, swollen lips, bare chest stained with lipstick, looking at him would only make me angry.

" Molly…"

I pulled my arm away and slid into my room closing the door tightly behind me. Locking it would do no good, Joel was strong enough to get in, he'd proven it before when he burst into my room to prove a point. But he didn't do it this time.

I pressed my ear against the door listening.

" My apartment is down stairs, we can continue there if you want."

No answer from Joel.

" Alright then…" the woman said. " Follow me."

The door clicked behind her. I slid down my door, my knees to my chin and stayed there until Joel returned two hours later.

He knocked on my door when he returned, when I didn't answer he pushed his weight against it and pushed until I felt my body moving forward and the door opened behind me. He stuck his head inside.

" Molly," he said softly.

" You done?" I barked still refusing to look at him.

"Yeah, you wanna talk now?" He asked. I shook my head.

" No not really," I lied.

He knew I was lying, he slid through the small space anyway and faced me. His eyes were pleading, but that didn't make any difference to me, I was angry.

" Your just like all the rest of those guys," I barked. " I hope your dick is nice and wet!" I shouted. The pleading look was gone now, replaced with anger. He hit the wall behind my head with this hand denting the plaster. I glanced up then.

" Yes, yes it is," he growled. " I have needs too Molly. I want and lust like every other man. Why are you so angry about it, Kit doesn't…" he trailed off. Was he going to say she meant nothing to him? Why did I care? I knew Joel had sex with other girls, I knew he sometimes brought them home. He was a guy and his needs were a bit more than mine.  
" It's all that stops me from going after you," he said instead.

I looked up at him then.

" No surprise right?" He said rubbing his head. " I love you Molly…but I respect you too much to put you in that situation. And I want you too love me…really love me…not as a normal man but someone who respects and knows you…someone who's bed your not afraid to lie in just to talk."

I squeezed the eye then for comfort. Understanding now, still angry but understanding. I opened my mouth but no sound would escape. He touched my clenched hands reassuringly. I moved them apart slowly showing him the eye in-between them. At first I doubted he could see it, but then all doubt left me as he clenched his fist and narrowed his eyes.

He reached for it, I pulled it back just as fast.

" Molly!" He exclaimed. I stood backing away from him.

" You can't," I said finally finding my voice. " He came to me, and he left this in his place."

Joel took a deep breath. " Molly its just a ball," he said calmly.

" Then it shouldn't be a big deal," I said. But it was, Joel was once again hiding something from me. He knew who I was looking for. My anger welled up again. " Stop making me look insane! Tell me who he is? Tell me why I dream about him at night, every night. Tell me!"

" I won't," Joel insisted. " It'll just hurt you again. I can't protect you in that state."

Then I lunged coming at him with all my anger. He didn't dodge me, we collided his back hitting the floor as I slapped at his face. One hand shot out and grabbed the eye at the same time another grabbed both my thin wrists. I was pushed back away from him and was thrown onto my back.

" Would you just stop this madness Molly? Does your common sense not work? Why would we all go through these lengths if not to protect you?"

" I Just want to know the truth," I said. Tears were coursing down my cheeks then, hot and wet. " I know he's real…I know their all real. I was so happy then, I want that happiness back. Why can't I have it back?"

" Because…because it hurt you," Joel said. " Because that happiness came at a price. Because…"

" If you really loved me…you would tell me what I wanted to know," I said. " Who is he."

Joel sighed above me, his hand let go of my wrists and he slowly pressed his fingers to my cheek brushing back frizzled hair before running the pads of his fingers over my lips. " I can't," he whispered.

" Yes you can," I said.

" No," he said pulling away from me.

" Please."

He hesitated for a moment, his jaw clenching and unclenching before he turned to me.  
" Ulquiorra," he said. I closed my eyes, I knew that was his name. " He's…" Joel took a deep breath. " Isn't that all you wanted to know?…"

" Why don't I remember anything really about him?"

" You were hit by a car…"

"It is a lie," I said. " There was no car accident was there?" Joel didn't answer. " Grimm was right, you guys have been lying to me this entire time. And I believed you."

" It's not a complete lie," Joel said. " Some things did happen…you almost died Molly. We had no choice."

" But to make me believe I was crazy?" I said. I stood up then. " The least you guys could have done was give me a choice. Everyone should have a choice when it comes to how they live their lives."

I went to the bathroom then to take a cold shower leaving Joel there with his thoughts.

As the water poured over my head and body I tried to recall all the things that could have happened to me in the past, remember all the faces I'd forgotten. And I reminded myself over and over that I wasn't crazy, that something had happened to me. That Ulquiorra was real.

I must have been in the shower for a while with my thoughts because Gram knocked on the door to remind me I had class. I opened the door slightly to glare out at her.

_Did she know about everything too?_

" Coming," I said shutting the door.

I dressed, pinned my hair back and walked back out to where Joel was frying eggs. He didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to him. He shoved a plate full of food in my hands and I dumped it on the table in front of Grams before heading to the door. He grabbed my arm.

" You can be angry all day long with me, but you have to eat." He said. I glared up at him.

" Are you going to force me Joel?" I asked. I could feel Gram's eyes on us.

Joel lowered his voice. " Molly lets not do this today."

" Tell me the truth and we won't have too," I said challenging him with my tone. " You think its hurting me not to eat? Its hurting me more to be lied to constantly."

" Molly," Joel whispered. " If you only knew what really happened, what would happen if I told you."

" If only I knew," I said pulling my arm away from his grip and walking out of the door. I would walk today. Even if I missed my first class. I would not be stuck in a car alone with Joel, not until he told me what I wanted to know. His love for me blinded all other reason, made him angry and stubborn.

" You still want answers?"

I turned suddenly my heart beating a mile a minute. Grimm stood beside me his hands in his pockets.

" Do you have them?" I asked willing my heartbeat to slow. He grinned. Something in my stomach twisted. I knew this person, he was trouble waiting to happen.

" Maybe."

"What is it? I'll give you-" I stopped short. I wouldn't give him anything I realized. " You don't want just anything do you?" I asked instead.

He clicked his teeth. " What makes you think I want anything from you?"

It took me a minute to realize I'd stopped walking and was facing him. " Earlier you said you wanted to kill me but you couldn't. What's stopping you?" I said. I sensed he was strong enough to kill me if he wanted to, and would under normal circumstances not hesitate to kill me if he had too, but something was stopping him.

I felt his arm wrap around my waist pulling me towards him. I tried to resist but my thin frame yielded anyway.

" I wonder what they do if I were to lay you down right here and fuck you in the middle of the street.?" Grimm growled. " They might just fight over who would get to kill me first." He laughed at that.

" First of all," I said pushing against him again. " No one would have to fight over anything because I'd already had killed you the moment you tried." Which was part of a lie, I was having a hard enough time making him let go, much less trying to kill him myself. " I don't need anyone to come to my rescue."

" Oh they'll come, "Grimm said tightening his grip around my waist until I could have swore his arm was an iron bar instead of flesh and bone. " They can't help their selves."

The air rushed around me, I closed my eyes. The feelings felt familiar and for some reason I wasn't as afraid as I should have been. Then abruptly it stopped. My butt hit the ground. I glanced around my surrounding taking in the scene.

Boxes were pilled high in one corner, long metal shelves stacked high almost touched the ceiling, to their sides old wires and hanging lights.  
" Place ring any bells?" He asked me.

I turned to Grimm. " What are you talking about…"

A girl appeared in view, her skin was light brown her hair white as snow. When she noticed my eyes on her she looked down shyly.

" Rin is so happy," she said.

She looked familiar too, but I couldn't pin point where I'd seen her before. I straightened up my body and glanced around at my surroundings. I was standing in an abandoned building.

_Probably a warehouse…the closest one is ten miles away…_

The thought that maybe this was a bad idea, that maybe he was going to kill me after all, before the desire to know the truth overpowered it.

" You know if you wanted to get my attention kidnapping me was not the way." I said rounding on Grimm. " Take me back."

" Do you want to know the truth or not?" He barked.

" Yes but-"

" Then shut the hell up and listen for once." Then he walked ahead hands in his pockets leaving me with the blushing Rin girl. Still angry I started to follow him when the girl's hands on my arm stopped me.

" Rin wants to try and help Molly get back her memories," she said.

" If you think for a second I'm just going to let you-wait-. Really?" I asked grabbing her shoulders happily.

Still flushed she nodded nimbly.

" Something's telling me I can trust you," I said. Maybe a little too much. I couldn't say the same for Grimm through. Something inside was telling me not to trust him entirely. Even through I did let him bring me here. " What are you going to do Rin?"

" Rin will tear down walls blocking Molly's memories. Allowing Molly to retain her memories."

" You can do that?" I asked searching her face for some hit of falsehood.

She nodded.

" Ok better question," I said. " Why would you do that for me? You and Grimm both, you don't even know me."

She didn't hesitate to answer. " Rin's your friend. And she misses you. A lot of people do. Rin thinks even Grimmjow, through he'd never tell Molly that."

" Joel is behind this isn't he?" I asked.

Rin nodded. " And Ulquiorra, both of them decided to erase your memories themselves."

_Both Joel and Ulquiorra…so Joel doesn't get all the fault for once._

" They both will come won't they?" I asked.

Rin nodded again.

I nodded. " I want to know the truth. Strew Joel and Ulquiorra and who ever else is trying to stop me."

It was my destiny, my decision. No one else got to choose who and what I remembered or who or what I forgot. No matter how much they felt it helped or hurt me.

" Ok." She stepped forward, then placing two fingers on my forehead she told me to relax, I closed my eyes. " Your mind must be at ease Molly," she said. " Ignore everything else around you. Nothing else matters."

_Crash._

I opened both eyes. Grimm howled.

" Its about fucking time you showed up, I was thinking maybe I'd have to kill the girl to get your attention."

" Joel," I whispered turning in the direction I sensed he was. I couldn't see him. Rin pulled my face back towards her.

" Clear your mind Molly."

" Right." I said closing my eyes. I wiped everything I knew from my mind. Joel wasn't here, Grimm wasn't here, Rin wasn't here. I cleared my mind.

A shockwave of pain radiated through my skull and I fell into darkness.

* * *

When I opened my eyes I could see myself as I used to be. All large eyes, full cheeks and curved torso. There were no circles around my eyes or skin drawn tight over bones.

The me I could see bent down, hair swaying over her shoulder. Her hands were behind her back, her facial expression inquisitive. " Nice to see you again," she said.

I lifted one hand upward, the hand I lifted was stunted and chubby, the fingers too small and swollen to be my hands. They were the hands of a child.

I stood angling my face towards my legs and feet which were both stunted as well.

" You know you shouldn't follow random guys you don't know into abandoned warehouses that sort of things gets girls in trouble," the other me said.

" I know him," I yelled defensibly. Even my voice sounded different, more high pitched than usual.

" Right," she said. " Tell me his real name."

" Grimm."

"Grimm what?' She said.

I bit my lip. All I knew was Grimm. She folded her arms against her chest just as I would have.

" You really don't' remember…"

" I don't even know where I am right now," I said walking up to her. I had to look up to see her face, leading to the conclusion that my height was stunted as well. " Where are we?" I insisted.

" Inside your mind, while your body is laying on the floor of the warehouse while Grimmjow and Joel fight."

I found myself surprised by that. " Why are they fighting?"

" Because that's what they do," she said. " If you had your memories you'd know that those two don't really like each other, in fact they hate each other. And what nothing more than to kill the other."

" We have to help." I said to the other me. She blinked. Then bending down she leveled our faces.

" You don't even know what's going on. First you have to help yourself. This whole time you've been screaming for the truth. Lets find it."

" That's what I've been doing," I reminded her.

She smiled. " Ok. They never truly erased me , just put me the farthest part of the mind that you didn't use. So if you accept me your memories should come back gradually."

" Gradually…why not all at once?" I asked pulling back a little.

" The bonds holding you back as stronger than I am. I'm going to need time. The most important memories come first." She placed her hand on my forehead. " Are you ready."

I nodded again then locked eyes with her.

" Alright. Lets go." She said.

Information swam in my vision then, names, places, faces I didn't recognize. Voices rang in my ears, wind and rain touched my skin. I laughed, I smiled, I cried, I grew hot with anger. So many things were transpiring around me.

The just as abruptly as it started, it stopped.

I opened my eyes expecting to see my other self only to see someone different.

The figure with the green eyes and pale skin I'd seen in my dreams stared down aloofly at me. My other me was gone, and he was stealing my memories away.

* * *

**Ulquiorra**

_Stupid girl_…Ulquiorra thought as he opened yet another portal to the human world. She had gotten herself into trouble again, this time with Grimmjow. Although she had no memories of how dangerous he was, she should have had common sense like all humans did.

Yet she did not listen to reason, she only wanted what she wanted. And that was what she felt was stolen from her.

He landed in the warehouse amongst the fighting between Joel and Grimmjow. Regarding them both even after they stopped fighting and acknowledged him.

" This party is getting even bigger," Grimmjow howled. Ulquiorra shot him a glare over his shoulder before continuing forward where Rin kneeled next to Molly her fingertips against her forehead, her eyes closed in concentration.

" What the hell are you doing?" Joel yelled flashing next to where Ulquiorra stood.  
" Your not supposed to be anywhere near-"

Ulquiorra considered ignoring the boy, only to realizing he'd have to kill the boy before he let himself be regarded that easily.

" We had an agreement did we not?" Ulquiorra said aloofly turning his head to look at Joel. " Do you want her to have her memories back?"

He felt the boys unease, he wanted to step in protect his precious Molly but knew that if he did she would regain what he'd help taken from her.

_Humans are selfish creatures_…Ulquiorra thought to himself as he slung Rin from her place near Molly. He had no liking for the girl since the day he'd met her, and still none after she abducted Molly and attempted to imprison him.

The girl hit the wall of the warehouse before standing and coming at him with her sword. He threw his hand out grabbing her by the face and holding her there with one hand. " I should kill you," he said. But he wouldn't, killing her would expend all his energy, energy he needed to reverse what she'd done.

Instead he threw her back against the wall. This time it was Joel who blocked her path.

" Stand down Rin," he commanded.

" How can you just let Molly be-"

" Because I must," Joel said. " Now stand down."

The girl dropped her sword. Satisfied Ulquiorra dropped to one knee beside Molly placing his fingertips against her heated forehead just as Rin had done.

He knew the technique well enough. Enter the mind of the person, trap the memory and imprison it in the deepest part of their brain. The only difficulty that would come would be suppressing any released memories.

He expelled his spiritual pressure. The mental boundaries of her mind had already been broken down eliminating that part of the process until all that stood was her memories and the person she was now.

A child and an adult were stooped before him.

The memory process had begun.

Wasting no time he approached the memory which was a healthy more adult version of herself. Expelling his spiritual pressure he struck the memory in the place where her heart would be. Its eyes widen in surprise, its mouth opened to say something before he imprisoned it again. She faded into darkness leaving only Molly.

He pushed his fingers up against her forehead pulling back the memories that were given sucking them into darkness as well.

Then her eyes opened.

Shock covered her tiny child face, confusion then anger. He continued caring not for what she thought, she wouldn't remember anyway. Her tiny hands came up then wrapping around his arms.

" No!" She screamed. "I'm done letting people make decisions for me. That means you too Ulquiorra."

The dark void that was her mind began to open up then swallowing everything else in light. He could see the workings of her mind, the memories bubbling forth. Feel the intensity of her long lost emotions. And with every sight, sound and touch he could feel his spiritual pressure being drained.

" Girl…" he began but it was too late. She pulled back first falling backward. He felt his body do the same.

Then the familiar darkness overtook him and he fell asleep.

* * *

**Molly...what have you done my poor lost girl? **

**REVIEW!**


	5. Weighty Decision

**Another Chappy. College is going to have me busy for the next couple of weeks so please enjoy! **

**REVIEW! It makes me happy and motivates me to work faster and stop procrastinating *cough***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. **

* * *

**Molly**

I was in the darkness again. It covered me, consumed me. I would feel it. Taste it. Everywhere I looked there it was. Then a small speck of light. I ran towards it touching it with my fingers, pulling it apart until it expanded and filled my darkness with light.

There he stood. Gone was his wings, his tail. There was only his eyes green and stoic. In his hand he held a sword. I stepped towards him, he made no movement.

I lunged then falling onto him my hands going out to find his throat, my fingers clinching as we fell.

" Will you kill me girl?" He asked his tone empty, his eyes void. I squeezed harder until my fingers popped and ached. He closed his eyes then accepting it.

" Molly!" Joel called.

" Why?" I shouted my fingers still at his throat. " What made you think…what made either of you think I wanted to forget anything that happened to me? What gave you the right to pry around in my head?"

He opened both eyes then, still spread out under me he met my gaze. I lowered my head until our faces were inches away. " Answer me." I shouted. He continued to stare.

I loosened my grip until my fingers were a mere caress on his neck. I ground my teeth into my bottom lip, and swallowed back tears. My vision spun and blurred until everyone around me were nothing but mere splotches and bits of color.

I could see my memories too, just as faded and blurred and specked as my vision. Battles were played out before me, faces animated in my view. I could taste blood, feel the wind on my skin as I moved faster than any human could possibly move.

I don't want to lose this. I thought as I leaned forward clawing my hands against the fabric of Ulquiorra's shirt. I didn't want to lose this, yet I would if I didn't do something. " I don't want to lose this," I cried pressing my forehead against his collarbone. " I don't want to be broken."

* * *

**Ulquiorra**

" I don't want to be broken," Molly cried as her fingers clawed at his shirt and her tears fell down upon his chest. The droplets of water were cold against his flesh.

" Stop it !" Joel exclaimed reaching out to move her hands away. He moved a moment too late, she lunged at him then grabbing him by the neck and pushing him down.

" Molly are you alright…" Joel started but she tightened her grip around his neck. Her eyes were blink as if she did not see him, her fingers clawed. " Molly…" he choked reaching up to touch her face.

Ulquiorra gathered his strength then and stood. His body was unusually shaky and his spiritual pressure felt low and useless. He'd felt this feeling before, when he'd first met the girl. Weak, almost human. What ever she did to him was having an effect on her body now.

" You…" She said through labored breaths. " This is all your fau-" She cut herself off then as she lost consciousness and fell forward onto Joel's chest.

* * *

**Molly**

It's a strange thing waking up and thinking your entire life was just a dream only to realize that everything was real and nothing was as fake as you wanted it to be.

I felt like that, when I awoke up again.

New. Better. Improved. Like my eyes were opened for the first time in years. Like I was a baby who'd taken their first steps. I finally felt like myself, if only a little. And with that feeling came the memory of what I'd done.

" Molly!" Joel said lifting me up again. We were at his apartment now, I was in my bed. I balled my fist and lunged this time he saw it coming and blocked the blow. I grabbed at his arms and climbed until I straddled him hitting as hard as I could in his chest and stomach even his groin. " Stop it Molly!" He yelled pushing me back over. I attempted another go at him. He moved off the bed away from me and my scratching fingers.

I braced my hands against my head and held them here. " That monster the one I see in my dreams," I said. " All black and covered in despair. That was Ulquiorra wasn't it?"

Joel said nothing.

" I was so afraid…" I said. " I was dying, he…you guys saved me."

More silence on Joel's part. I turned to face him, his face was void of any emotion.

" Where's Ulquiorra and Rin and Grimmjow?" I asked.

" Molly…you have no idea what happened." Joel said sitting up so we were face to face. " Your body…"

" I've never felt better." I said. " Wait what happened?"

" You…and Ulquiorra…"

" What happened?" I insisted.

" You attacked him," Joel said. " You tried to kill him, then me."

I shook my head. There was no way I would try to kill Joel or Ulquiorra. Yet here Joel was saying that I did. Not that I could take anything Joel said to heart, he had been lying to me this entire time.

" What do you remember?"

I held my head. " I remember Grimmjow and Rin, the warehouse then you bursting in. Seeing my other self, agreeing to get my memories back…" I paused. " Then Ulquiorra…"

" Anything else?"

I shook my head. " No that's all. But I still don't have my full memory back. There are still faces with no names, names with no faces. And I'm still angry at the both of you."

" Molly…" Joel began but stopped when he realized it was a hopeless cause.

" Where is he?" I said.

" Grimmjow took him back to Huedo Muedo. Listen Molly what you did wasn't good. If the Soul Society finds out you have your memories back and that Grimmjow and Rin were the ones who helped you after the truce…"

" Then don't tell them," I said. " If they ask tell him you repressed them again, I'll play stupid. Anything, anything not to go back to being the way I was."

" Its not that simple Molly. This area is under intense watch, for any lingering unwanted spiritual pressure. Not only did you unlock your own memories Molly, you stole some of Ulquiorra's spiritual pressure."

_I stole…_

" He was trying to take my memories," I said. " I had no idea that would happen."

" Well it did," Joel snapped.

" What's the big deal?" I asked. " It couldn't have been that much, I still feel the same."

" It is a big deal Molly," Joel said. " What if you go back to being the way you were, bonded to that Hollow. It happened before it can sure as hell happen again."

" Is that all your worried about?" I asked my voice boarder line yelling. " All your worried about is me being closer to Ulquiorra and-"

He grabbed my arms and shook me. He was angry, so angry he shook and ground his teeth. " The Soul Society," Joel barked. " If they find out they will never leave you alone Molly. Don't you understand, your ruining the balance of things. It can not be like it was before Molly, this time when they take you it will be for good."

I shook my head causing wisps of unbrushed hair to slap my cheeks and brow. " What do you mean take me?"

Joel let me go and stood. He was shaking his head. " Since erasing your memories won't work anymore, capturing or killing you is another option."

_Capture or Kill..._

" And what about Ulquiorra and Grimmjow and…"

" Them to," Joel said cutting me off. " Their both hollows Molly. You may not know it but their was a war between the Soul Society and the Arrancars. The deaths and destruction numerous. Their aren't many Arrancars left." Joel hesitated took a moment to look at me then turned back around. " Ulquiorra and Grimmjow are two of the strongest and ruthless ones to date."

" They aren't all that bad…" I whispered.

" Grimmjow captured you twice." Joel said pointedly.

" He said he wanted to kill me, but couldn't. That he didn't know what was stopping him." I said. " And Ulquiorra…he never once hurt me. Well not intentionally anyway." I glanced up at Joel through my brows, he was staring at me like I was a new type of fish. Strange and deformed and not all conventional. I continued. " Their both looking for something…the meaning of something…I want to help them."

" Their not puppies," Joel said. " You can't just bring them home and feed and train them."

" That's not what I'm trying to say." I said defensibly.

" They can't love," he said. " Molly they are hollows, devoid of love and any positive emotion."

" How do you know that?" I challenged standing to face him.

" Molly I love you but-" he cut himself off with a deep sigh. " If you make yourself an enemy of the Soul Society, all the love and protection I can give will not save you from them. From yourself. I will not watch you die."

I grabbed his arm gently, it was warm and malleable and muscled. He turned to face me, his brown eyes warily and pleading. My made my face as unmovable and determined as possible. I had to show I was serious, that I was unyielding in my decision. When he saw this, his face grew taut as well, the muscles tightened and he glared down at me with cold fury, and determination. He'd made up his mind as well.

We were two unmovable objects standing in each others way. I opened my mouth to speak, my words were interrupted by Joel's mouth on mine.

That steady feeling of warmth hit me again, and for a moment I wanted to forget about everything else. About my memories being taken, or wanting to save Ulquiorra, and help Grimmjow. I wanted nothing more than to melt in-between Joel's arms and be that child on the swing set again, laughing and shouting as he pushed me as high in the air as his tiny arms would allow.

We stayed like that for a minute, his hands entangled in my hair his lips moving against mine, his tongue sweeping mouth before my senses returned to me, as well as my determination. I was breathless as I replied, " I will save him," I said.

His hands still entangled in my hair Joel leaned forward and kissed my forehead gently. Then pulling my face upwards he met my eyes. I knew what he was going to say before he said it. But that didn't mean I wanted to hear it. " It sounds to me like you've made your choice Molly."

I grabbed his hands then desperately. I was that selfish child again on the playground, begging Joel to keep on pushing the swing even when he complained that his arms hurt and he wanted to go home.

" Please…" I gasped. Tears were stinging my eyes then, and burning the back of my throat. " Please don't…I need you here to help me. I haven't made my choice…I…"

He smiled at me weakly. " You have to learn Molly." He said pulling my hands away hesitantly then placing them weakly at my side.

" Please…" I whined. Tears had found their way out of my eyes to course down my cheeks. I knew I was being selfish asking Joel to stay with me while I blatantly opposed him trying to protect and love me at every turn. But I needed him. I hadn't made my choice, not completely. I just wanted to help Ulquiorra. As I would Joel if it were him instead. I opened my mouth to explain all of this, but no words would come out, only thick wet coughs.

He turned and walked to the door, turning to give me one last longing look. " Even I can be hurt."

Then he walked away leaving me in my dark room alone. No longer able to bear the weight of my own decisions I slid down my wall and began to sob.

* * *

**Oh no Molly's all alone now. Who's going to save her? Darn you Joel and your feelings! **

**Where is Ulquiorra when all this is happening? **

**I'm a Fanfiction whore, pay me with REVIEWS! :)**


	6. What He Wants

**Sorry about the really really long wait. Between writers block and all the college work I have to get done, I barely have enough time, energy or ideas to spare. So please enjoy. **

**My brain is now mush because of this chapter...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. **

**REVIEW!**

* * *

" I came as fast as I could," Lor said bending down to face me. I was currently sitting with my head cradled in my knees, the phone on the floor where I'd left it after calling her over.

" Shit," she cursed. " That asshole, he knows not too-"

" It's my fault," I croaked.

" Like hell it is. It's never the woman's fault Molly, remember that."

I shook my head then buried my face in my knees again. I never really planned on calling Lor, but by the time I'd gotten my hands on my cell phone and dialed the number it was already to too late. I was sobbing and telling her what happened through jumbled sobs, not completely sure she could understand me anyway.

Her hands snaked their way around my shoulders and she sat there for a long moment not talking.

" I'm sorry," I said wiping my eyes. " I'm so sorry."

" Don't apologize. So you and Joel broke up no big deal that happens all the time in the world of relationships. Remember how many times John and I used to break up before he realized he was a dick and changed."

" He's in love with me," I said pathetically.

" I could have told you that," Lor said. " Do you love him?"

I nodded. " But…"

" But…" Lor said.

" But, there's someone else too."

Lor raised a eyebrow. " Oh, love triangle…"

" Well two more people-"

" Molly…"

" But the third one doesn't count, he's more of a annoying circumstance."

" Right," Lor said. I could see by the look on her face that she was trying her best to put the pieces together in her head, without making me look like a complete slut. " So the first one more important."

" Yes," I said.

" What are you going to do?"

I shook my head. " Joel hates me," I said miserly.

" He does not hate you," Lor said. " He's just angry, John gets like that sometimes too. He says shit he really don't mean."

" Yeah but…"

She grabbed my chin then making me face her. " But nothing. Just give Joel a few days, he'll come to his senses. He never was the smartest fucker in the bunch. Now come on you have class and I have a kid to drop off at day care."

I'd honestly forgotten about class. It seemed like a week since I went. I stood up to my full height, using the walls as support. I washed off in the restroom and slipped on a pair of jogging pants and a sweat shirt. Avoiding the mirror the entire time, I didn't need to see my bloodshot eyes or swollen lips to be reminded of how crappy I felt.

Lor was waiting for me by the door when I finished. When I reached her she placed a hand on my hair and pushed it down gently. " It's getting kinda long," she said.  
" What do you say, after class you come down to my house and I'll cut it for you."

I nodded not knowing what else to say. The ride over to the college was quiet, and when we finally arrived Lor hugged me and kissed my cheek. " Shit will work itself out. It always does."

I nodded again then stepped out and headed to class. It did no good getting my mind off my troubles. And by the time it was done I learned no more then when I first went in. I had two hours to waste before my next class and I was seriously considering not going at all. But thought better of it and instead sat at a bench in the courtyard weighing my options.

So far I only encountered Ulquiorra once, and he was trying to steal my newfound memories. Then I tried to kill him, so it wasn't a happy reunion. Still I needed to speak to him. Find out where we stood.

" Looks like your all alone." Someone said behind me. I turned my head suddenly. Grimmjow sat on the bench beside me, arms curled behind his head, legs crossed casually. Without thinking I lunged at him.

The motion did me little good, because he was already waiting for me. He took both my hands in one his large ones and pushed me backwards until my back and head slammed against the wood of the bench. I cried out in surprise and stopped struggling as pain ran down my spine.

He smiled down at me, as if he'd won some terrible prize. " Ready to give up?"

" Why do you do this Grimmjow?" I asked breathlessly. In addition to the pain radiating in my back and neck, I was also having a hard time breathing with him on top of me. " I thought you hated me. It would be better if you did." I said as tears welled up in my eyes and my body shook uncontrollably.

His eyes widened in surprise, then he pressed his free hand against my neck and squeezed slightly. " Don't start that human crying shit!"

" Do it Grimmjow," I said. " I've never wanted to die as much as I do right now."

His hand stayed where it was. " You can't can you," I said. " Because you…"

His grip tightened around my neck. I let out a strangled cry. " Don't start comparing me to fucking humans. I'm nothing like you fucking meat bags. I take what I want, I do not pretend to have human feelings," he spat. " I don't need em."

" I want to help you Grimmjow," I said.

He stood up then releasing my hands and neck. Then shoving his hands in his pockets he looked down at me with eyes that were as cold as the day we met. " I do not need your help." Then turning he started to walk away. Standing quickly I found my footing and ran after him.

My fingers and toes were tingling as I reached out and grabbed his arm. A jolt of what felt like electricity passed between us, and Grimmjow turned at the same time I lost my balance and fell forward.

" The fuck," I heard Grimmjow say before I fell to my knees.

" Take me with you," I said. " To where Ulquiorra is."

" Why should I?"

" It'll make Ulquiorra and Joel angry," I said. " Joel might even come after you…"

" In that case I should just kill you." He replied.

" I'll also consider…" I hesitated before I answered. " Sleeping with you." That was a lie of course. I would never sleep with Grimmjow, but I had to get to where Ulquiorra was. I had to prove to myself and Joel that my voice was not in vain.

He chuckled. " I don't fuck skinny bitches."

I bit my lip and searched my head for another excuse, when Grimmjow's hand around my waist pulled me back to attention. He'd opened a portal and was pulling me through.

* * *

**Ulquiorra**

_What is this_…Ulquiorra thought as he lay staring at he ceiling above. Since the day he traveled to the human world to take Molly's memories back he was slowly feeling Molly slipping away.

He lifted his left hand above his face examining the skin and texture. He could not say why but he felt a tab bit weaker as well, as if Molly had stolen a lot more than intended. Which would not be the first time she'd done such a thing.

She was stubborn and steadfast and listened to no one, nor accepted any reason. In some way she was just like Grimmjow.

_Why did I not kill you when I had the chance girl_…He thought.

Curiosity? Humans had always interested him, she had always interested him. He closed his eyes intending to fall into a deep hibernation, not quite sleep yet not quite awake. For hollows as he'd explained to Molly innumerable times, did not require sleep like humans did.

He thought, for he could not dream, of the whiteness from which he arose, of the despair and loneness he felt, although he was surrounded by others. The sensation of being rejected by those who were also rejected. A never ending paradox of nothing. Everything had disappeared.

Then there was her face, that woman. Orihime, she appeared then disappeared, covered in the blankness that was once his only memory. Smiling as if all was ok, as if she wasn't covered in nothingness. For her he felt nothing.

_" I will save you…"_

He voice, through the blankness, the void, the all consuming nothingness. Yet there he could hear nothing.

_" I will save you…"_

Closer, she was closer than before. Hand touched him, although he could not feel. Her scent surrounded him, yet he could not smell.

He turned his eyes to her form then, she was different. Gone was her tan skin, replaced with a white that resembled his own, cyan lines descended down her cheeks, curling at their ends to form half circles at the base of her lips. Her eye color was the same, but gone were the whites of her eyes, replaced with reflection less black, replaced with the eyes of a hollow. Her skin was warm yet hard, and smooth like stone.

Yet with all the changes, it was still Molly. Molly who held him tight, Molly to gazed up at his gruesome form with eyes wide and filled with admiration. Her appearance had changed, and yet…

His clawed hands pushed back the hair covering her shoulders, and chest. There at the base of her neck, a circle, a void of nothingness.

Her heart was gone.

Gone.

Gone.

Gone.

He opened his eyes.

There she was, leaning over him. Long hair brushing his cheeks, eyes widened in a perplex surprise, mouth opened. She let out a small sound that crossed between a frightened animal and a surprised girl.

Then smiling she said warmly. " Your awake."

He sat up quickly, stiffly and faced the blank wall, opposite of her.

" What are you doing here, girl?" He asked coldly.

" You were having a nightmare weren't you?" She said as if not hearing his question. He stood and faced her, looming over her thin, fragile frame. She backed up then, moving away from him until her back hit the wall. He let his eyes roam over her figure. She was wearing a long white rope, pulled tightly at the waist. Her collarbones and the cleavage of her breast was exposed. Her feet were bare and she smelled faintly of the colorless almost scentless soap the arrancars used to cleanse their own bodies.

" I asked you a question girl," he said.

She looked down. " I asked Grimmjow to bring me here…"

Grimmjow of coarse, the arrancar lived only to complicate things. It was no surprise he would bring her here for his own amusement.

" You will go back," he said turning away from her. " Now."

She hesitated a moment before replying. " No."

He almost couldn't believe what he'd heard, before he remembered this was Molly he was speaking too. She would be obstinate. He would have to use force, he would have to be cruel.

He turned his green eyes to her. She didn't look any healthier than she was when he last saw her. She as still thin, her hair had been combed but lacked its once luster and shine, and slight black circles rounded her eyes.

" This place will drain your strength," he said matter of factly. " You will die here girl."

She shook her head. " I'm still not going."

" You wish to stay. Why?" He barely wanted to be here, in the place where hollows rotted, and nothing grew. This was a prison cell and yet she wanted to stay.

" I want to help you."

This time he was ready for her. " What can you do girl? There is no help for me."

" Yes, there is ," he exclaimed stepping towards him, then thinking better of it and moving back again. " I dreamed about you every night…I dreamed you were in your dark form. You would bind me and pull me close…and I would say I wanted to help you. And you would say it was too late…then…" She paused as if not wanting to say the words. Although he already knew what they were.

He would die, fade away into the nothingness in which he was born. Is that what she wished to save him from? Death? Or was it the nothingness?

I should kill her…end her suffering…he thought. She was human, he was hollow, void of all feeling, of all human emotion.

" I know it was you calling out to me. You may not know it or accept it yet, but it was."

She stepped closer, her hands reaching out.

I should stop her…I should kill her now…But he couldn't move. Her fingers found his cheeks first, warm and soft they made his hard skin tingle.

He liked it.

He didn't like it.

The close proximity. Her breath on his lips, her hands on his face.

He suddenly remembered the kiss from before, the way her lips felt, how warm and soft her female body was. It was experimental of course, at the time he wanted to experience that experience for himself. He thought about the arrancar girl's Grimmjow brought to him as well, each fashioned to look like Molly, but none of them actually her. He remembered how disgusted he was. He tried to bring back that same repulsion now.

The Hollow desire was a fascinating thing, one Aizen studied along with other hollow behaviors. He found as in the case of Ulquiorra, some were more prone to instincts than others.

He grabbed her wrist suddenly. He tightened his grip until her face contorted with pain and she winced and whimpered. He could not be a slave to instinct. After all before he became an arrancar, instinct told him to eat, yet he had not mouth, instinct told him to hear yet he had not ears, instinct told him to touch yet he could not feel. Instincts now were telling him to put aside all reason and devour the girl, body and soul.

He would not allow himself to become trapped within her again. Would not allow himself to be come chained. He cared not how much his inner hollow, longed to bind itself to something, someone. He was just starting to let her go, it was better it stayed that way.

" Ulquiorra…"

_Do not call me with that sickly sweet voice…do not bind me._ How he wanted it so. To be bind with her. To keep her with him, let no one else see her, let no one else touch her, let no one else speak to her. Hollows were selfish creatures. They would rather destroy that which they chained than share it with anyone else. And more often than not they did.

It as negative emotions they clang to. In his case it would be her loneliness, her insecurity, her grief.

She was like a drug.

She called his name again.

He turned his eyes upward, gazing into hers. Then bringing her hands up he rubbed her knuckles against his own lips, feeling the soft skin give under his. He could break her just as easily as one breaks a twig. So fragile, so soft in body and sprit. Another thing Hollows liked, hearts that easily bent and broke, bodies that they could twist and misshape at will. Breaking both down until their was nothing left, turning the person into a husk, into a Hollow.

He wanted to break her.

Protect her…

Ruin her…

Chain her…

He wanted more than he knew a arrancar should. Hollows were greedy by nature, so it only made sense.

She breathe, ready to say his name again. Reaching over he pushed his hand over her mouth and nose holding it there, steady and hard a stone. Her eyes widened, her chest heaved. He could hear her struggling for breath, feel her heartbeat increasing. She whimpered and clawed at his hand, her broken delicate fingernails not even marking the hard skin. He wanted to control her life.

She is a pathetic human, he thought coldly making no move to remove his hand. She cannot even save herself…

Tears collected at the corner of her eyes then, spreading until they fell from her eyes and coursed over his hands, salty and wet. He watched them with aloof, calculating eyes before slowly removing his hand from her mouth and nose. She started to fall under the weight of unconsciousness then, before he grabbed her with both hands and held her still.

" You are weak," he said lifting her body into his arms. He opened the portal and began to step through Molly in his arms, pausing when he felt her stir.

What would she do when she awoke and found she was back? No doubt she would continue to erode herself, until there was nothing left. Cry and mourn until she drowned in her own sorrow. She would die.

He could not allow that.

* * *

I woke up on Ulquiorra's couch. He was no where in sight, and on the table in front of the couch was a cup of water and a bowl full of grey slimy pudding. I drank the water which tasted a lot like iron and ignored the bowl. Then pushing the door open I stepped out into the empty white hallway.

I walked down the hall, expected at any moment for either Ulquiorra, Grimmjow or some other arrancar to come baring around the corner to drag me back to the room. But no one came, so I continued walking until I reached another set of doors, pushing them open I stepped through.

I was hit with a blast of cold air, and the dank musty smell of still water. Opening my eyes against the blinding cold I glanced around. I was outside. I continued forward, my bare feet sliding over the fine roughness of sand. A crescent moon stood in the sky, providing a tiny shimmer of light to the otherwise bleak darkness. Mere sticks more than trees stood atop the rolling hills of sand, desolate and lonely, each spread a ways from each other.

I touched the nearest tree, pinching the stick like branch between two fingers. It broke off to my surprise, the remainders shattering to the wind, fading away as if never there. It reminded me of my dreams, of how Ulquiorra faded away into dust, into nothingness.

I shook the thought away as I stepped out further.

" What are you doing outside girl?"

I stopped where I stood.

" Your letting me stay?" I asked cheerfully.

" Do not be stupid girl, you are arrancar."

"Arrancar?" I repeated turning to face Ulquiorra. In his large green eyes I could see myself. My skin was paler than usual, my hair longer. Purple lines much like Ulquiorra's curled down my cheeks creating half circles at my lips. My normal eye color was the same but gone were the whites of my eyes, replaced with black. Two small horns peeked out from between my hair. Where my heart should have been, there was a circle. " Ulquiorra what's going on-"

" MOLLY!"

I turned. Joel stood in my wake, sword in hand, breath labored. I grinned and ran towards him, ready to embrace him, and explain myself again.

The moment my skin found his he attacked driving the tip of his blade into my chest. Blood curled down my lips and I grabbed his quivering hand and peered into his eyes.  
" W-why Joel?"

" You're a monster," he whispered pulling the sword free. I fell to the sand, dead.

* * *

**ZOMBIE! BRAINS! Arrrggghghghgh**

**Please REVIEW!**


End file.
